If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I am available for nakedness
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
