We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
