if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
