drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
