just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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