you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
