I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I want to fling myself into the sun
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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