Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
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I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
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Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse