It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads