When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You grabbed my dick don't call me son