Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
would you consider him our boss?
then technically i slept with our boss
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.