he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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