come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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