maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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