Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
