I wish i was in the wii world.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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