if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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