as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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