wat bout pragnant strippers??
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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