this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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