i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
