So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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