So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
