I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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