David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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