His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
