My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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