I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
