I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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