the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
