Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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