so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Randomize
