It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
