dude i'm inner monologue high
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
