I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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