This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
FUCK WHALES
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
