ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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