I want to have your abortion
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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