he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize