i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
