definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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