margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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