i was rollin on her like bob the builder
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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