Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
