they need to just BURY HIM!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
soo... how was my night?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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