I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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