just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
