just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
