I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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