Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
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so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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