The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize