i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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