I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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