i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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