somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
