why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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