Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
