Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
