this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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