So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
my liver is dry heaving
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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