Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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