This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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