I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
