does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
