Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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