You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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