I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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