he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
