Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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