my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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