I heard we made out
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
